Fear

I was sitting here wishing that I had something interesting to write about. 
 I realized this: 

We often times think about our day-to-day lives as something so mundane. We say that nothing exciting happens; we tell everyone that it's the same old, same old. And then we look back, even a week later, and long to go back because it was a better week last week than this one. Or we say that we wish we could go back to freshman year instead of cherishing the time and place that we are currently in. 

I have been doing this lately... I had a conversation with a fellow student in one of my classes and he said he was a freshman... I said to him, "Man. Lucky! I wish I could go back... Enjoy it while it lasts because it will go by so fast." It was something that I had heard going into college and it didn't hit me how very true that statement is until now. The encouragement to enjoy it while it lasts is a good one, I think, definitely nothing wrong with that statement. It was the statement "I wish I could go back..." that really punched me in the face. 

I worked my way up to being a senior. I've reached my last semester. I made it. I've arrived at the moment that every college freshman desires. And here I am desperately wishing I didn't have to look ahead to the scary, vast Big Kid World that is rushing toward me. But honestly, what better place to be?

Because the fact of the matter is... I may be an upperclassman on campus, with experience and knowledge that comes with being here for four years, and with that feel entitled. In the Big Kid World, however, I am less than a freshman - I am a college graduate with little to no experience who has been living "in a bubble" for the past four years. If that doesn't stir up fear, I don't know what will. 

There in lies the root of the problem. Fear. Worry. Stress. Fear of the Unknown. Worry about the Future. Stress about the Present. But with problems come solutions... Knowledge can be gathered, fear can be cast upon the shoulders of my Beloved, and I can worry and stress less about the days to come. And not only that, but I can think about what lessons the Lord has taught me, how much I have grown as a person, the talents that my professors have helped me cultivate, and the opportunities that I have received. All these things to help me realize that I am more equipped for the Big Kid World than my fear leads me to believe. Now let's see if I can conquer that fear for real...



 Freshman Year

 
Senior Year